Many parents seem to resist leaving their children at home with babysitters. They take the kids along, even on weekend nights that were once reserved for date nights. What’s going on with parents who take their kids absolutely everywhere?
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Editor's Note: Teenworthy is a column written by teens for parents and teens. Today's guest writer is an 8th grader fighting cancer and raising money to help other people with the same illness, Ewing sarcoma. Read her story here and then use the column to start conversations with your own friends or kids. If you have a burning question for a teen or know of any teens who want to write for Teenworthy, let us know.
My name is Kat. Up until March of this year, I was your typical 8th grader. I love horseback riding (eventing), skiing, and spending time with friends and family. Recently, I had just got back from a ski trip to Whistler/Blackcomb and was sitting in my class when a guest, an American who provided aid in Rwanda during the genocide, came to speak to us. When the fighting started he was told by the U.S. to leave, but the man told us he said no. He stayed in Rwanda for the whole duration of the genocide helping orphan kids while gunshots rang out. I remember sitting in the audience and saying to myself, I want to make a difference like this someday.
Little did I know how soon that day would come.
On March 5, 2013 I went from skiing down the peaks of Whistler and jumping over three-foot jumps on my horse Scooter to being a teenage girl who might have a rare and serious form of cancer. I went to the doctor to have a large bump on my thigh checked out. I was told what I thought might be a bad bruise had a 95 percent chance of being cancer.
In those first weeks I had to do things I never thought I’d even be able to do. I stayed perfectly still for half an hour while I went through a tube barely bigger then my body with a camera that sounded like gunshots. I got my first IV, and I had pictures taken of my body while a panel rested three inches away from my nose. I had two surgeries (leg and lung) to perform biopsies. And at the time these didn't seem like big deals, but looking back I don't know where I found the strength to do those things.
I've realized through the small part I've gone through so far that you find strength in so many things: friends, family, and of course my horse, Scooter.
After all of the tests and a very stressful couple of weeks, I was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer — Ewing sarcoma — which has about 250 diagnosed childhood cases a year in the U.S.
In the beginning I had no trouble telling people that I had cancer. Actually, I'm pretty sure when I told most people I had a smile on my face. But with every doctor visit, phone call and day that went on, it became harder because more and more information sank in. I began to realize how hard it was going to be and how much my life was going to change.

When I interviewed working moms around the country for my book I Love Mondays: And Other Confessions from Devoted Working Moms, women listed all sorts of scenarios that left them saying sorry: Not having time to chaperone their child’s class field trip; being unwilling to attend a meeting so they could go to their child’s recital; being unable to track down their child’s last annual physical for the camp nurse. On it goes … and many working moms apologize by default, hoping it will ease the stress.
But here’s the rub: When we apologize repeatedly for things we didn’t do, we send a message to others that we’re to be blamed. Worse, we’re modeling for our kids that we should apologize even when we did nothing wrong. So, here are a few quick ways to reign them in.
Track your sorries
The first step is realizing how much you are actually doing it. If you’re not sure but suspect that you might be on overload, follow the advice of clinical psychologist Janet L. Wolfe, Ph.D. and log your apologies.
For one week, write down each time an “I’m sorry” pops out of your mouth, what led to it and how you were feeling at the time.
Next, try to find out what your patterns are: Do you apologize when you’re nervous? Overtired? Feeling guilty for upsetting someone? Megan, a 38-year-old divorce attorney and mom to a 7-year-old, says, “I realized after paying careful attention that I apologize if I’m rushing and feel like I have to fix things quickly — not because I did something wrong.”
Once you know your trigger, you can slow yourself down in those situations and pay attention to what whether you’re just throwing an apology out of habit or because it’s warranted.
Show compassion without apologizing
OK, you caught yourself on the brink of apologizing but this is your chance to change things. What do you do in the moment where you’re triggered? Suggests parenting expert and therapist Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., “When you realize you’re on the verge of saying “I’m sorry,” stop and take a deep breath (inhale until that breath reaches your heart before you exhale).
Giveaway: Two Copies of 'Listen to the Birds: An Introduction to Classical Music'
Filed under: Giveaway

Today, we're giving away two copies of Listen to the Birds: An Introduction to Classical Music, book/CD set that is introduces kids to classical music through the discovery of similarities between notes produced by instruments and birdsong. The accompanying CD offers excerpts of 20 different recordings performed by world-class orchestras.
To enter to win, simply leave a comment on this post, and include your email in Disqus (not publicly) so that we can contact you!
Additional entries will be given for the following (leave an extra comment for each action to let us know):
1. Become a ParentMap e-news subscriber
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The giveaway ends Monday, May 20, at noon. We will leave a comment reply for the winner by the end of the day.
Make sure to check back to see if you've won if you haven't already heard from us by email!
Movie Dad's Guide to the Seattle International Film Festival with Kids
Filed under: News Outings Movie reviews/ Previews
We are fortunate to have so many film festivals in the Pacific Northwest because they give us the opportunity to experience films – and cultures, languages and stories – we wouldn't otherwise be exposed to. The Seattle International Film Festival (SIFF), which runs from May 16 through June 9, is the largest film festival in the United States, and this year's program offers an interesting variety of family-friendly cinema.
In addition to special festival previews of big summer Hollywood movies like Epic and Monsters University, the Films4Families program at SIFF will screen features from France, Germany, and Japan as well as a large sampling of short films from all over the world – 20 movies, features and shorts in all.
To help you plan your family's movie-going fun we've organized our SIFF guide by the weekends when all the family films will be shown. There is a diverse mix of films in this lineup and we encourage you to go beyond your expectations and seek out something new (Ernest & Celestine) or old (Safety Last!)
SIFF family picks, May 18 and 19
Epic
May 18, 10:30 a.m., Pacific Place Cinemas
May 19, 4 p.m., Pacific Place Cinemas
The first weekend of the festival kicks off with a preview of Epic, the latest film from Blue Sky Studios, the people who brought us Ice Age and Rio. A girl finds herself magically transported to the world of tiny leaf people and caught in a battle between good and evil. It's based on William Joyce's book The Leaf Men and the Brave Good Bugs. The Blue Sky folks have proven with films like Horton Hears a Who that they know what they're doing when they adapt a children's book, or create a compelling fantasy world, and Epic looks like it will continue this success.
Length and rating: 90 minutes. Rated PG for mild action, some scary images, and brief rude language
Ernest & Celestine
May 19, 10 a.m. SIFF Cinema Uptown
Ernest & Celestine is a French animated feature about a mouse who dreams of one day meeting a bear and the unlikely friendship that develops when her dream comes true. The hand-painted animation, evocative of a children's book illustration brought to life, is becoming increasingly rare in our 3D animated world. Ernest & Celestine is an opportunity to experience a charming story in a unique and engaging way.
Length and rating: 79 minutes. All ages, recommended for children over 6. In French with English subtitles.
Get animated workshop: Animation Workshop for Kids (ages 8-14)
May 19, 1 p.m., SIFF Film Center
Interspersed with film showings are several workshops for budding filmmakers, including this one. Using flipbooks, participants will gain the basic skills of stop-motion.
One of the happy discoveries I made as a new parent was that children’s books are often deeply philosophical. Children’s authors seem aware of children’s philosophical propensities in ways most of us are not. Books by Arnold Lobel, Leo Lionni, Eleanor Estes, E.B. White, Natalie Babbitt, William Steig and many others all raise philosophical questions in ways both familiar to and engaging for children (and adults).
As you’re reading picture books and other children’s literature with your children, it’s natural to ask your child what questions the story makes him or her think about. If a story seems to you to raise a particularly interesting topic, you can point it out by asking your child, for example, “So what do you think makes someone a friend?” “Do you think you’d want to live forever?”
For example, take Arnold Lobel’s story “Dragons and Giants" in Frog and Toad Together, one of my favorites. In that story, Frog and Toad begin to wonder if they are brave. They decide to find out by trying to climb a mountain. In the course of this adventure, they escape snake and hawk attacks and run away from an avalanche. After each encounter they shout, “We are not afraid!”
After the final challenge, Frog and Toad run back to Toad’s house, where Frog hides in the closet and Toad jumps into bed and pulls the covers over his head. They comment that they are each glad that they know such a brave person like the other. They stay where they are for a long time, “just feeling very brave together.”
Are Frog and Toad brave? Can you be brave and afraid at the same time? If bravery is doing something that intimidates or scares you, is fear always part of bravery? Can you be brave if you aren’t afraid? Does bravery involve what you feel inside, or what you do, or both?
Or read Lobel’s story “Cookies,” in the same book. Here, Frog and Toad keep eating cookies that Toad baked. They note that they should stop eating them, and they agree a couple of times to stop after one last cookie. Frog observes that what they need is will power.
“What is will power?” asks Toad. Frog responds that it is “trying hard not to do something that you really want to do.”
Frog puts the cookies in a box, but when Toad points out that the box can be opened, Frog ties a string around the box. Frog takes more and more steps to make sure that they cannot get to the cookies and finally feeds them to the birds, telling Toad that now they have “lots and lots of will power.”
What is will power? Do Frog and Toad have it in the story? Is Frog right that will power is “trying hard not to do something that you really want to do?”
Recently I had an interesting discussion with a group of second-grade students about this question, and they noted that will power doesn’t always involve trying not to do something but can sometimes mean trying to do something you might not want to do. They pointed out that sometimes it takes will power to do their homework math problems.
We also wondered together about whether you can have will power even when you’re not using it. Can part of you want to do something and part of you not want to do it? The children were really interested in the idea that we have multiple selves with sometimes conflicting desires.