BabyMap, Fall 2007
Dear reader:
I could list dozens of pros and cons of our slightly unusual family
plan, spacing our three children out over 15 years. I love fantasizing
that the 21 and 16 year olds may not think of me as the insane mother
of their youth. Today, they experience my more measured, empathetic,
mature (for sure) and simply worn-out parenting style used for their
6-year-old sister. The range of issues on any given day — from
fender-benders to keeping the tooth fairy myth alive — seems to apply
to no more than one child at a time, so no economies there. This band
of siblings is not fighting over toys but somehow seem to be listening
to the same music, if not closely monitored. I have extra energy and
make more time to sit, play, paint, and imagine with the little one
because I have lived the often repeated “over in the blink of an eye.”
In my youth as a parent I failed to fully understand how absolutely
precious their childhoods are and how it all, both good and bad, passes
by at the speed of light. But the true gift of having this clan of
record age span with years between to recover from the tension infancy
can bring is how our marriage has been able to evolve over these 21
years with each child. Our ability to skillfully handle the inherent
stressors that come with sleepless nights, diapers, spit up, and the
“who did more” could only improve. In this issue, Carolyn Pirak raises
the question: “Are new parents happy?” (Helping your relationship survive a new Baby,”).
The fact that the answer is “Not usually!” should motivate rather than
discourage you. Be encouraged by the tremendous access that you have to
information, research, resources
(page 31) and support from such excellent organizations as the Gottman
Institute*, Listening Mothers and PEPS to educate yourself and tackle
some of the universal challenges that young parents face.
I have lived the truth of Pirak’s statement, “It’s really critical that
we give babies the best possible start that we can, and the way to do
this is to have a strong parenting team.” I hope you find great ideas
within these pages to make your team as strong as it can be.
—Alayne Sulkin, Publisher
*Join us as we kick off the ParentMap Pathways Lecture Series in 2008 with John Gottman (details coming in the October issue of ParentMap).
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