Those first-week back-to-school jitters were normal, you reasoned. And that first month? OK, it was difficult, but everyone knows some kids take extra time adjusting to the new school year. But now it’s well into fall, your child starts the day in tears and comes home the same way, and you’re beginning to suspect something more worrisome is going on.

Could it be that your child’s in the wrong class?

Mismatches happen, says Seattle educational counselor Carol Robins, particularly when parent expectations are high. “We expect one teacher and more than 20 kids to be in a relationship, learn from each other, respect each other’s values and behaviors — all while communicating effectively and compassionately,” she says. “What a challenge!”

It’s a challenge schools take seriously, because the stakes are high. “It’s hugely important that we make the right teacher and classroom connections,” says Linda Robinson, principal at Bryant Elementary School in Seattle. “The kids should be happy, and school should be a happy place.”

That’s why Robinson is “obsessive,” she says, about finding good fits for all Bryant’s kindergarten through fifth-grade students. To place students in the right classes, Robinson uses a protocol that considers gender, learning style, ethnicity, academic achievement, special needs and friendships.

She and her staff learn which kids should be separated and which kids should stay together; which combinations of academics and personalities work best; and whether there’s an even balance of boys and girls in each class.

It takes an extraordinary amount of effort to make all of those elements mesh. It also takes a bit of guesswork. “I color-code every class list, I write charts, I consult teachers,” Robinson says. “But some of this, you can’t quantify. In the end, I sit at home by myself and get a sense of the gestalt of this group of kids.”

What doesn’t Robinson do? Accommodate parents who make special teacher or classroom requests. She and her staff feel so strongly about this proviso that they include it in their printed student assignment guidelines: “Parent requests for specific teacher assignments will NOT be accepted, either verbally or in writing.”

And if a parent requests a classroom change during the school year? “Barring something extraordinary, the kids stay in their classes,” says Robinson. “If there are issues, I will work with the teacher. But we have had huge success with placement.”

Keeping parents happy

Birgit McShane, principal of Kimball Elementary School in Seattle, would be the first to tell you every principal views student placement differently. “For me, there isn’t a set rule,” she says.
McShane likes to keep parents happy. “If there’s a parent who feels strongly about a child not being in a particular classroom, I don’t want the child there.”

But she knows parents can be swayed —and influenced — by the ever-present rumor mill. “Some parents march in and say, ‘I just can’t have this teacher,’ and it’s based on something they’ve heard,” McShane points out. “Parents get together and decide certain teachers are better.”

And parents often misjudge their kids. They might, for example, demand their child learn division in math class, when the student has not yet mastered multiplication. “They think their child’s abilities are higher than they actually are,” says McShane.

Overall, McShane aims for an effective student-classroom blend while accommodating families when possible. That could mean placing a child who’s been through foster homes with a warm and fuzzy teacher — or teaming a student up with an old-school no-nonsense instructor because that’s what the parent requests.

Getting connected

When should parents get involved? If their child resists going to school, has trouble sleeping, gets tummy aches, or is acting out in an unusual way, it’s time for parents to step in. These are all signs that something’s amiss, says Robins. That’s when parents should begin a dialogue with the child’s teacher, the principal or other parents. “The idea is to keep issues out in the open in a collaborative, non-threatening manner.”

If needed, parents can call in professionals to observe the class and give families ideas for problem solving, Robins says. “Parents, kids and professionals are all in this together, and it helps to work with people the child encounters each day.”

Parents need to know that everyone at school is on the child’s side, says Beth Remy, a psychologist at Lakeridge Elementary School on Mercer Island. “We confer with parents and school staff until we unravel the problem,” says Remy. “We ask: ‘Is there structure at home but not at school? Is there a mismatch between the child’s developmental readiness and what we are asking the child to do?’”

The child may need to be evaluated for special emotional or academic needs, says McShane. “Some kids are perfectionists; they shut down and won’t work. Others are very sensitive.”

Ideally, the school and the parents find a way to make the teacher-student combo work. Sometimes that means the teacher fine-tunes the way he or she is interacting with a particular child, depending on that student’s academic or emotional needs. “That’s far easier than asking the child to change teachers,” notes Remy.

But let’s say the teacher seems inflexible. What if things still aren’t jelling? Then it’s time to consider other options. But think long and hard before demanding a classroom switch. “What are you telling your child? If things don’t work out, I’ll rescue you?” Remy asks.

Reserve the class changes for “terrible fits,” she says. “If it’s really a mismatch, that might be the solution.”

Linda Morgan, ParentMap’s associate editor, writes frequently on education issues.

What to do:
1. Be sensitive to your child’s needs and concerns. Watch for behavioral changes such as crying at the door, stomachaches or sleeplessness.
2. Try to solve problems with your child by talking to her about what’s going on at school.
3. Contact the teacher and tell her what your child is reporting.
4. If things don’t improve, meet with the teacher and principal and express your concerns.
5. Work as a team to confront and resolve the issues.

Sources: Birgit McShane, Carol Robins and Beth Remy