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If your child is getting ready to start kindergarten this fall, there’s a good chance you’re feeling a mix of emotions that come with the final summer before “real” school begins. Excitement, pride and maybe even a touch of panic are all possible. Once school officially starts, it can feel like the end of activities like lazy mornings, spontaneous adventures and midday snuggles.
That’s why the last summer before kindergarten is special. It’s a final chapter in the preschool years, and a bittersweet bridge into a new stage of life. And while it’s tempting to pack every last summer moment with carefully planned activities, the best way to approach it may be much simpler and carefree.
Here’s how to make the most of it.
Savor the simple moments
There may be a temptation to create well-planned, picture-perfect days where you’re trying to coax the last bit of magic out of summer. But when you ask most parents what they miss most after their kids start school, it’s not the fancy outings. It’s the small things.
It’s simple activities like sidewalk chalk in pajamas, long story times, picking wildflowers on spontaneous walks and lazy picnics. These are carefree moments that matter far more than any elaborate event that you could schedule or plan.
Child psychologist and author of “Good Inside,” Dr. Becky Kennedy, notes that although children can’t possibly remember all events in early childhood, they remember how events made them feel.
And Kennedy says building these sorts of tactile connections with your child lays a foundation for the very skills you want them to know for kindergarten. She explains, “Connecting to our kids helps generate good behavior in the short term, as kids who feel connected to their parents are more likely to listen, use their manners and cooperate in challenging situations.”
Let your child lead sometimes
Giving your child some control over summer activities can help build confidence and increase their enjoyment. Letting them lead shows them that their ideas matter and helps to ease some of the independence-related anxiety that might show itself in the fall.
Dr. Bethany Cook, author of “For What It’s Worth: A Perspective on How to Thrive and Survive Parenting,” notes that “letting kids make age-appropriate decisions helps them build trust in themselves.”
Even better, a child’s simple choices can be very effective. A parent laughing in their pajamas while building with blocks on the floor can be more impactful than a trip to a museum where everyone is stressed.
Prioritize one-on-one time
Transitions like the beginning of kindergarten can be emotional. You may find yourself feeling extra sentimental, wondering how the years passed so quickly. It’s normal to feel wistful in quiet moments when you are doing things like folding tiny socks or labeling a backpack.
Your child might be feeling big feelings, too, even if they can’t fully explain them. They may cling more or act out in ways they haven’t in a while. So it can help to prioritize small moments of connection. Perhaps set aside small time slots each day when you are available to be fully present with predictable routines and cuddles.
Activities like ice cream before dinner or lying on a blanket and staring at the clouds are the little things you’ll both remember and are easy to achieve.
Make and document memories you can both carry into the school year
You don’t need to spend a lot of money to make and document lasting memories. Simple things can be impactful. Some ideas include a “kindergarten countdown” jar with simple fun activities; a mommy-and-me (or daddy-and-me) date once a week, exploring your hometown; a journal where you paste pictures of your activities together; and a special item that you crafted together during your summer outings.
These memories create emotional anchors. They remind your child that even when you’re apart, you’re still connected. Pediatric psychologist Roger Harrison says creating these anchors pays dividends.
He explains, “Special time increases opportunities for closeness between a parent and child. As that attachment is building, it increases the likelihood that a child is going to listen to or value what a parent has to say.”
Leave room for you, too
We worry so much about preparing our kids for kindergarten, but what about us? You’re the one who’s been there for every moment so far. It’s okay to feel a little lost at the idea of letting go and letting some of the care of your little one go to someone else.
You’re not just the parent. You’re a person who is also entering a new chapter with your own experiences and adjustments. It’s okay to take advantage of any extra time you might have for yourself during the transition.
Clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Christina Hibbert says that putting aside time for yourself makes you a more effective parent. She notes, “You are a much better mom when you give yourself time away, to just be you, than when you don’t. Being a healthy, happy mom is important to raising healthy, happy kids.”
Know you did enough
When the first day of school comes, it’s okay if you didn’t do all the things. It’s okay if you didn’t plan a perfect summer or make it through every checklist.
What truly matters most is that your child felt loved, safe and seen. Dr. Krystine Batcho reassures that kids remember feeling connected to you more than they remember actual events, noting, “What activity fills the time together is less important than the fact that the time spent was spent together.”
This last summer isn’t necessarily the end of something. It can also be the beginning of something new — a stronger, more confident version of the little person you’ve helped raise.
And they’ll carry your presence, love and preparation with them through every hallway, every classroom and brave new step.
How to gently prepare for kindergarten over that last summer
It’s tempting to turn the summer before kindergarten into a boot camp of flashcards, writing practice and reading drills.
But some experts believe that the most important skills for school readiness are not academic, but emotional. Sure, some practical skills may be helpful. Ideally, children will be able to ask for help, take turns, listen to directions and manage their feelings.
However, Dr. Deborah Gilboa says that learning to accept rules is one of the most important life skills that all schoolchildren need to learn. She explains, “If children have no practice at having limits set and held to expectations for good behavior with consequences for breaking rules, they’re going to struggle at school.”
Rules are an important part of starting school, but fun is another. Don’t forget to prepare your child to anticipate the festive parts of school, like making new friends and learning exciting new things.
Some books about starting kindergarten are “The Kissing Hand,” “Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten,” and “Kindergarten, Here I Come!”
There are also board games like Get Ready For Kindergarten: All Around Town and the Are You Ready For Kindergarten Game Show.
Remember to model the idea that school isn’t something to be nervous about. It is something to be excited about, for both of you.
