To quote Hillary Clinton, it takes a village to raise a child. But where do you find that village when you live in a city?

­Facebook helps. So do online communities for moms, such as Green Lake Moms. Melissa Benaroya founded the Green Lake Moms Yahoo group in 2005. A clinical social worker and co-author of the book The Childproof Parent, she’s the mom of two kids, ages 5 and 7.

“We moved to Seattle when my firstborn was 2 weeks old, and I didn’t know a soul,” says Benaroya. Within weeks, she had started the online group, which now has nearly 2,000 members.

Benaroya feels that creating community and connections for moms is crucial. “Many moms are not aware of resources available to support them: doulas, play groups, parenting groups, lactation services, nanny services, baby-sitter resources and therapists,” she says.

Online networking groups like Green Lake Moms have become a one-stop shop for local mothers. As a member myself, I’ve found a nanny; bought a ride-on truck and a secondhand couch; gotten advice on weaning; loaned someone a reindeer costume; sold a maternity dress; shared advice on fertility, night terrors and sexy nursing bras; met moms for coffee; arranged a playdate; got the inside scoop on local preschools; and discovered my kid’s favorite band (hello, Caspar Babypants).

“As an only parent with my family on the other side of the country, this Yahoo group is like a pseudo-family to me, and therefore my son,” says Casey Kennedy, a Seattle mom of a 10-year-old. “Finding sitters on here is critical to mommy happiness! This Yahoo group really is my ‘village’ in many ways.”

While members of the group buy and sell everything from maternity jeans to Seahawks tickets—one member called it “craigslist for moms”—it’s more than that. It’s a friend in the middle of the night when you’re up worrying about a sick kid; it’s objective advice on playground etiquette; it’s a community of friends who reassure you that you’re normal, warn you about creepy guys at the playground and share resources. You can email the group and instantly get dozens of responses from moms just like you.

Groups like this are proliferating all over the Seattle area, from Columbia City to North Seattle to the Eastside (see our list of regional resources for the group nearest you). Benaroya has helped moms start similar groups in cities across the country.

While the group hosts a few annual get-togethers, Green Lake Moms connect mostly online. The most popular local resource for in-person support is the Program for Early Parent Support (PEPS).

PEPS has offered neighborhood-based, volunteer-facilitated parenting groups since 1983, including groups all over King and south Snohomish counties, and more than 175 newborn-parenting groups each year.

Sara Roberts, a Seattle mom of two boys, ages 2 and 5, says, “PEPS was a lifeline for the first six months. This group of women shared their souls, and I shared mine. We shared stories, tricks and shortcuts for housework and baby gear and tending to baby; we had our first time away from our babies with each other; and we still get together regularly five years later.”

Support from other moms makes you a better parent, says Kali Sakai, whose daughter is 2. “There is a gripping fear that you’re ‘doing something wrong.’ Seeing other parents go through similar challenges and feeling that you are not alone helps get past wanting to be perfect and instead wanting to bring out what intrinsically makes you a unique person and good parent.”

Local stores like Birth and Beyond also offer classes to support new parents. Emily Guthrie, a Seattle mother of a 1-year-old boy, found that her biggest challenge was simply getting out of the house. “The First Weeks class at Birth and Beyond gave some structure to my day, helped me learn to breastfeed in public and gave me practice going out with Oliver on my own,” says Guthrie.

Resources for moms are plentiful, but what about dads? Guthrie reports that PEPS worked well for her and her husband. “He got to see other babies Oliver’s age, and we made great friends doing it.”

But just as moms sometimes need to be around other moms, dads need their own parenting peers. Redmond stay-at-home dad Bruce Reynolds started Seattle Stay-At-Home Dads for this very reason. Since 2004, the group has scheduled more than 300 get-togethers, mostly playdates, just for dads. In addition, NorthWest Dads, like Green Lake Moms, is a Yahoo group, with a small but active community.

Whether it’s online groups, in-person get-togethers, formal classes or informal playdates, it’s not how you connect, it’s that you connect that makes the difference.

Bree Coven Brown works for The Seattle Times and has written for New York Magazine, Seattle Weekly and Seattle Magazine, among other publications.