Puget Sound Parents Share Ways They Add Joy to Their Busy Days

When it comes to reclaiming little pockets of joy while surviving the day in and day out of parenting, I can’t help but lean into one of the most relatable things I’ve heard in the last decade.

Ten years ago, when I had a 3-year-old and a newborn, my friend Liz and I were commiserating about the way our days were suddenly measured in child snack intervals and nap schedules. It was the type of conversation where venting felt good but grasping for solutions seemed futile. But then Liz recalled something a gal pal once told her.

Apparently, this woman (who I will forever call Queen of All Moms Everywhere) told Liz that just a few swipes of iridescent eye shadow was her new favorite thing — so she could get a little sparkle back in her life.

Let that sink in.

Doesn’t it just … resonate? It’s so relatable. Soon, new ideas spilled into our Debbie Downer talks as Liz and I — inspired by her sparkly friend — started to find ways to bring the joy back.

These are some of the ideas we talked about.

Secret earbuds

Liz shared that she often listened to podcast documentaries with one earbud in and one out while washing dishes. That way, she could sneak some “grown-up talk” into her afternoon while still hearing her young kids in the living room. Her podcast sesh was a small reprieve from the same old at-home routine (and a chance to not hear the “Blaze and the Monster Machines” theme song for the billionth time). Clearly, Liz and her sparkly friend were on the path to discovering the secret of life.

Parked-car mini retreat

I’m not really a podcast person, but I did enjoy sitting in our silent vehicle when the kids fell asleep in the back seat.

There’s just something about the buffer of a parked car’s interior that shields you from reality for a bit, invites you to scroll your phone, lets you finish that last song, do absolutely nothing but sit and watch the birds or get lost in thoughts that are actually yours. This still works for me today now that the kids are ages 12 and 10, and while they don’t nap (ha), I feel fine letting them bolt from the car and into the house solo while I hang back for 10 minutes.

Predinner dance

Circa 2016, when my kids were 3 and 1, I’d often turn up the music on Alexa and dance around our round living room rug. We’re not even really that into dancing around here, but for some reason that round rug served as our mini dance floor and it just worked. Back then, the two songs we played were almost always anything by Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick on the “Trolls” soundtrack; and “HandClap” by Fitz and The Tantrums.

Taking the wild road

This one isn’t a metaphor. Back when we lived in California, I’d quite literally seek out a specific backroad in town to avoid the freeway while heading to Trader Joe’s. It wasn’t a scary, windy road, but a pass that sported some pretty awesome dips and inclines that were just plain ol‘ fun to drive over, ideally with all the windows down and the music on. One of the best little joys around. Never too fast though, be safe out there.

Sanity walks

In a past life, I had a pretty sweet Instagram audience who I’d vent to on solo chats after my husband Bowen got off work. But only if I forced myself out the door for what I called a “sanity walk.” It was a 2-mile loop around the neighborhood to clear my head from the day’s relentless parenting stuff and get some endorphins … or something. I never actually wanted to go. (My Instagram friends would always laugh at me for this.) But goshdarnit, those sanity walks helped me feel better every single time.

Mail runs

Both houses we’ve lived in as parents have had those corner cluster mailboxes, so grabbing the mail always turns into a mini outing. Back in the day, I’d also share our “Mail Runs!” on Instagram. Which would usually be the kids running up the hill, sometimes barefoot, sometimes in diapers, always making me laugh a few paces behind them. Ten years later, we still do it (minus the diapers). Except now they run after we come home from a drive. I pull up to the boxes, the kids hop out, grab the mail, throw it into the window I rolled down and then dash home while I drive the car. It’s still their little wild-and-free moment and honestly, the perfect reset between the car ride and whatever comes next on a school night.

What other parents have to say

Here are some ideas other Puget Sound parents shared for their small, relatable and easy-to-try joy hacks. (Spoiler: Quick solo walks appear to be the key to happiness.)

The micro date with each kid

One parent spends 10 to 15 minutes alone with each child. Kids feel seen, and parents get to hear more about their day without it feeling like they’re losing a game of 20 Questions.

Heather Blacketer of Seattle says finding one-on-one time with each of her three kids has brought a new kind of joy into their routine, especially as her kids get older. She shared that her eldest son recently initiated a nightly check-in where he opens up about his day. “It’s totally driven by him and the conversation is so much better than whatever I get from him after he gets home and I ask him how his day went,” she says. “He just started talking one day. So I very quickly put everything else aside, phone down, and said, ‘I would love to hear about your day, honey.’”

Awww.

The 5-minute rule

No, this isn’t the distant cousin of the 3-second rule on whether floor snacks are still fair game. (We’ve all been there.) The 5-minute rule is less about what you salvage, and more about what you add back in. It’s to show that parents don’t need a whole weekend away or a perfectly planned self-care routine to get a reset.

Shanon Kearney Lessard, a Gig Harbor mother of two boys and “one very active dog,” says she walks at parks because it “brings me joy especially when the trees and flowers are blooming or the sun is shining.”

South Sound mom Laura Doepker appreciates a good fresh air fix with a solo hike through Gig Harbor’s Kopachuck State Park while her kids are at school.

Another South Sound mom, Lucy Dishman, says she turns a playground sesh into a combo outing at one of the regional parks with a sports complex: “Snack Shack lunch, play at the park and walk the trails!”

Savoring where we live (even in the chaos)

A recurring theme is slowing down just enough to notice the views. The point isn’t the activity. It’s the pause. A tiny, intentional break from the constant doing, reminding, packing, wiping, answering. A moment of not just managing life … but just being in it.

Gig Harbor mom Kimberly Ann finds her moments of joy in “savoring how the light reflects on the water, the boats, the trees — the view whenever driving across the bridges and remembering to feel grateful to live in such a beautiful place,” she says. “Even if hurrying to get back for kids’ sports practice.”

Ruth MacIntyre from Gig Harbor also enjoys walks on a good public trail, often with a dog (or two), she says, adding her appreciation that “we live in such a beautiful place” here in Washington state.

Small treats, local spots and mini-escapes

Serrah Petermann-Linares, a Gig Harbor mom of three, says little indulgences close to home can often feel like a reset button. Bonus points for her specificity: She personally recommends the Bourbon Caramel Macchiato from Cutters Point Coffee. She also says, “a walk downtown along the harbor, savoring Gig Harbor Toffee, coffee or lunch with a friend, and spending time to dock the boat at the Tides Tavern or Anthony’s” on Gig Harbor’s downtown waterfront are great joys.

Seattle mom Heather Blacketer shared the super relatable mom-of-three life hack of keeping an occasional secret candy stash to stay sane. But she also loves a good mental reset for the whole family by “doing something that requires getting out of the house … this is easy when the weather is nice — we can get outside to our neighborhood … bike ride or walk. When the weather stinks we’ll sometimes try indoor stuff, like a children’s museum or an indoor activity gym.”

Micro ‘me time’ moments

Small moments matter. Because sometimes five minutes is all you’ve got.

Heather returns here to laugh at the idea of getting any long-term “me time” to speak of, but relishes in wearing earbuds to catch a quick podcast — and she also swears by solo walks. (She’s basically a Tonya-Liz combo.)

Middle school mom Frances Condit Hoffman of Gig Harbor says “one of my tiny joys I try to do a couple times a year is going to Harbor History Museum by myself (or with my spouse on a date).” While she enjoys bringing her two kids there (amid their busy school and baseball schedule), she makes the effort to return solo so she doesn’t feel rushed through the exhibits. “I just love to wander through with nobody else impacting my time and attention.”

Boundaries: The weekend edition

Reclaim your weekends by lowering expectations. Instead of packing weekends with sports and errands, families commit to just one planned thing. The rest of the day stays open. Protecting joy sometimes looks like not adding more. Think:

• Less rushing
• More spontaneous fun
• Less burnout
• Fewer expectations

Heather shares one more hack: Be intentional about the weekend hours. “We are thoughtful about trying not to overschedule extra stuff,” she says. “Kids have activities and sports that we need to work around. Then there’s life management chores/errands we need to do. We will then plan more stuff but will say no to other stuff if it starts to feel like too much.”

In the end

All in all, you start to see the pattern. Most of these joy hacks aren’t big, sweeping life changes. They’re simple, relatable (and repeatable) moments. A walk outside. Noticing the view on a drive you’ve done a hundred times. Saying no when the schedule starts to feel like too much. Letting connection with your kids happen naturally instead of forcing it. Remember to treat yourself with a nice coffee or a candy stash. Joy hacks are not just about getting away or recapturing your pre-kid days — they’re about building little moments you can come back to again and again.