I was thrilled to announce my daughter’s birth on Instagram.
Turns out, not everyone was as stoked I was.
For every handful of people who came out of the woodwork to say “Congratulations!” or “She’s beautiful!” there was another handful who unfollowed me.
Not that it matters; trust me, I don’t need the internet to validate the utter awesomeness of the tiny person I made — but the fact that the aversion to her was noticeable surprised me.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand if kids aren’t your thing. To each their own, and honestly, parenting is hard af.
What I struggle to grasp, though, is how anyone would not want to so much as look at that precious face. These unfollowers are going out of their way to purposely avoid it, and I’ve got something to say to them.
Dear Person Who Unfollowed Me When I Became a Mom:
I confess: I am that mom. The capture-every-moment-even-the-poop-stained-ones mom. And I ain’t mad about it.
But it seems like you are.
Maybe your decision to unfollow me meant nothing, maybe it’s a low-key passive aggressive modern snub or maybe you’re just dead inside. Judging by your unfollow’s timely proximity to my becoming a mama, I would guess it’s one of the latter two.
Evidently, it’s not super-duper neat to you that I grew a person inside of my body. How the mere notion of that miracle doesn’t make you gasp with wonderment is beyond me. On the other hand, those food pics you always post are *insert three fire plus 17 heart eyes emojis*.
Definitely not (although chunky thigh and rolly arm shots have been known to make one’s mouth water in a certain “that baby looks delicious” kind of way). But really, DO YOU EVEN HAVE EYES? Don’t @ me. Your fancy bagel and lox pales in comparison to my infant’s chubby cheeks.
Now I know the level of cuteness we’re talking about here is actually pretty alarming, really. It’s almost too much for me to handle, and I’m her mom. But, dear friend, if you literally just can’t even, how are you surviving life at all?
It’s rough out there and if anything, a squishy, blissfully unaware, toothless smiling baby is the perfect antidote to the madness. Because I firmly believe in helping each other out, I implore you to rethink your decision. Re-follow me and release whatever baby-hatin' demons you’re so obviously captive to. It’s okay to be happy! Let the light (and tiny fat toes!) in. You deserve it!