Grandchild #3 is coming momentarily. By that I mean every time the telephone rings, I answer it with the following greeting:

“Are you in labor?”

“No, I’m not in labor. I’m calling to let you know about our new features on Comcast.”

“Call back when you’re in labor.”

Grandchild 3.0 will be my son and daughter-in-law’s first child. They’re well prepared for this event, they’ve reassured us. They’ve got it all covered. The crib is in place. The changing table is set-up. The diapers are purchased – 50 of them – and all the right books line the shelves: What To Expect When You’re Expecting, What To Expect The First Year, and What To Expect When, The Truth Is, Knowing What To Expect Is A Complete Myth Because, Seriously, Who Really Knows What To Expect At All?

Just kidding about that last title, but we all know that’s the one book they should read. How many of us really get what parenting’s about? I don’t remember taking “Kids 101” along with my bio, English lit and organic chemistry classes. Actually, I don’t remember taking organic chemistry.

In any case, I’ve found that as a grandparent, it’s useless to offer words of wisdom and sage advice at this point in time. That’s because at this point in time, parents-to-be have no clue how much they could use words of wisdom and sage advice. And who am I to offer my own unsolicited opinions?

I’ll wait for that till the baby’s born. Maybe a day or two.

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