Maybe you’ve heard of the recently-released movie Baby Mama with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Well, I’d like to write my own screenplay called Baby Tummy. Because, my friends, I have one.
I am currently in Maui with my husband, two kids (5 and 3) and my parents, who are graciously taking turns watching the littles so my husband and I can head out on the occasional adventure.
But inevitably, those adventures entail wearing a swimsuit. And never is a woman more aware of her post-pregnancy pooch than while prancing around the tropics in a few strips of Lycra.
Here are some tips I’ve gathered to help successfully camouflage the Baby Tummy this summer or while on vacation:
- Embrace the sarong. Nothing covers a bulging midsection while suggesting that you are flirty, fun and up for good beach times like a gently rippling slip of semi-transparent rayon.
- Stand up straight in photos. Do not be afraid to suck it in. The misery only lasts for a few seconds, but the tighter, slimmer you will shimmer in the picture for decades.
- Four words: Lands’ End swim skirts. Okay, seven words: And Miracle Suits.
- If all else fails, or if you’re above all else, unlike me, wear a bikini and revel in your altered body.
Today, at a small, gentle beach on the Islands’ Northwest side, I watched a woman, close to 70-years-old, in a revealing two-piece, letting it all hang out. I was envious of her confidence, sure I could learn something from it.
I turned my gaze to my kids, whooping it up in the water and on the sand, and thought: the Baby Tummy is a bummer. But it’s worth every strategically placed gather and grumpy then vs. now comparisons.
And then I had another thought: perhaps, some actual crunches wouldn’t hurt.