‘Grown Up Dad’ Isn’t Just a Much-Needed Docuseries. It’s a Movement

When my wife and I had our first baby, I thought I was prepared. We went to Lamaze classes. My wife pointed out important details from the book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” My work gave me two weeks off to adjust to being a new father (which seemed reasonable at the time). Clearly, I was ready.

But when my son was born, I was an emotional mess. Unfortunately, he was just as stressed out as I was. I would tear up at the drop of a hat, like that time I found a copy of “Guess How Much I Love You” at Target and had to get it right then and there. My life had changed.

Part of that change was knowing I would be a different type of father to my son than my dad had been to me, which was quite different from the way his father was to him. While my parents held very traditional roles, my wife and I chose to work as a team. Yet, as noble as that sounds, I didn’t really have a blueprint, so I made it up as I went. I know I wasn’t the only one.

Today not much has changed, except that maybe dads worry even more about how well we’re doing at being dads.

Starting a much-needed conversation

“Every time we’re able to show a dad who’s loving their kids and loves being a dad, I feel like I’m countering decades of the bumbling-dad narrative on television,” says Joe Gidjunis, producer and host of the just-released five-part docuseries “Grown Up Dad.” “Those dads were funny and lovable, but they weren’t competent. I want to be someone different for my own son.”

“Grown Up Dad” is deeply personal to Gidjunis, father to an 8-year-old boy. During episodes of the series, he bravely opens up about the fears that keep him up at night. Turns out, the things that worry him about being a good father are the same that have worried me.

The show is the first docuseries to explore parenting from the father’s perspective. But it isn’t a DIY how-to series about being a better dad. Okay, there is some of that. It’s more about men having conversations with other men about what it means to be a father.

The series also tackles thoughts about modern masculinity, the importance of friendship and how to fight loneliness. In addition, the series shares practical information on how to navigate screen time, stay clear from internet misinformation and avoid bad role models.

Exploring modern fatherhood

In each episode, Gidjunis shares concerns and thoughts that every dad deals with in easy-to-chew pieces. The show isn’t dry, thanks in part to the experts he interviews, such as Vivek Murthy, former U.S. surgeon general, Richard Reeves, author of “Boys and Men,” and representatives from Common Sense Media. Don’t worry, he sits down and talks with everyday dads, too.

In episode one of the series, “The Changing Role of Fatherhood,” Gidjunis sheepishly explains how he tried to model his life after Bandit, the enormously popular father from the TV series “Bluey.” Although I’ve never seen the show, I do know Bandit is always available for Bluey whenever she needs him. Gidjunis worries this dynamic only sets him up to fail. But useful, honest thoughts about the realities of balancing work and life are explored here.

The second episode, “Screentime Dilemma,” deals with finding balance when it comes to our kids and their cell phones, and explores practical ways to talk to kids about what they watch, rather than spying on them to stay on top of their viewing habits.

I find it interesting how Gidjunis struggles to even say the word “masculinity” in the third episode, “Reclaiming Healthy Masculinity,” pointing out concerns about the way it might be misconstrued. He admits that he struggles with his own masculinity and doesn’t want to pass those fears on to his son. He’s not alone.

“We’ve ended up with a gap of good information investigating what’s happening with boys and men,” says Richard Reeves, president of American Institute for Boys and Men (AIBM), and one of the dads interviewed in this episode. “The problem with the current debate is that too many people have come to believe that equality requires androgyny … We don’t want to trap people in these boxes of masculinity and femininity. That doesn’t mean we have to destroy the boxes all together … Don’t neglect the problems of boys and men because you falsely think that means you somehow care less about women and girls,” says Reeves.

It’s no secret that as much as people are more “connected” than ever with the internet, we are currently dealing with an increased sense of loneliness. In the fourth episode, “Lost Men: Friendship & Loneliness,” Gidjunis discusses how men making time to improve male friendships also helps their families.

In the final episode, “Digital Misinformation & Media Literacy,” Gidjunis shares practical strategies about the many ways dads (and the larger community) can teach older kids to avoid unhealthy influences and stay informed. It’s an especially important topic, Gidjunis says. If you only have time to watch one episode of the series, make it this one.

The initial response to this series has been positive and Gidjunis and his crew are already working on season two.

Beyond the series

Gidjunis and others are turning the momentum of the series into a movement, offering more ways for dads to get involved in the conversation. The Dad Collab is “a space built for real men navigating real life together” in small groups. The next cohort begins this August ($50).

On June 14, Gidjunis will host the first Dadcatholon in Philadelphia, featuring four group and four individual events such as:

• Inconvenient stain removal. “Armed with only water and a napkin, dads attempt to save a ketchup-stained kid’s shirt before the next family photo.”
• Lego walk. “Cross a minefield of bare-footed doom. The farther you go, the more points you earn. Pain is temporary, glory is forever.”
• Don’t spill the juice. “Race through an obstacle course with a full cup. Speed matters but so does keeping that juice off your shirt.”

If you ask me, this movement has come at the right time. Where it goes from here is anyone’s guess, but I hope that it continues raising questions and keeps the conversation surrounding fatherhood — with all its ups and downs — going.