Helping Kids Deal With the Sunday Scaries

You may recognize the feeling: It’s late Sunday afternoon or evening, and you suddenly start to feel a sense of anxiety and dread about the upcoming week. This phenomenon is commonly known as the “Sunday Scaries.” Guess what? Kids also experience the Sunday Scaries and unlike adults, they have a much harder time shaking off that uncomfortable feeling on their own. Here’s what experts say you can do to help your kids spend their Sundays looking forward to the upcoming week with excitement and joy rather than with apprehension and worry.

Acknowledge their feelings

The first and most important thing is simply to acknowledge that your kids might be experiencing the Sunday Scaries. “By acknowledging the reality of the Sunday Scaries with your child and normalizing their feelings,” says pediatrician Dr. Alisan Escalante, “you’ve already gone a long way in helping them feel less alone.” Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, a well-known resiliency and wellness scholar agrees: “It’s important just to be curious and avoid jumping right into problem-solving. We want to listen to understand what’s worrying them truly.”

Find out what’s worrying them

Next try to find what’s worrying them. Are they dreading an upcoming school exam or test? Are they having issues with one of their friends? Is it something completely different? Whatever the worry is about, Hanley-Dafoe says, “let them know that it’s okay to feel this way and reassure them that they’ll get through it.”

Keep in mind that kids’ Sunday Scaries are often related to something that’s happening in or around school. “Like work for adults,” says psychiatrist Dr. Leesha Ellis-Cox, “school is where children spend the bulk of their day. They must navigate social pressures, balance academics and extracurricular activities, cultivate their evolving identity, and find their friend group — tasks that present an array of challenges. Add social media to that list, and it’s easy to understand how our children could really struggle on Sunday afternoons.”

Follow a consistent weekend routine

You can help the kids deal with the Sunday Scaries by having a consistent weekend routine. “Structure and routine,” Hanley-Dafoe says, “provide a sense of predictability that can help lessen the anxiety and dread about an upcoming school week.” An important part of that is to sit down with your kids and create a checklist of schoolwork they need to complete for Monday. This way they can spread it out over the weekend instead of trying to do it all Sunday evening. Having such a checklist, says educational therapist Wendy Taylor, can help avoid Sunday nights from turning into “the daunting bewitching hour where everything goes off the rails.”

Make Sunday calm and stress-free

Try to make the weekend, and especially Sunday, as calm and stress-free as possible by taking long walks together, enjoying family meals and games, and encouraging the kids to do relaxing things like drawing and journaling. These and other activities, Hanley-Dafoe says, “can help prepare the heart, mind, and body for the start of a new week.”

Draw up a weekly schedule

It’s useful to make up a schedule of all the kids’ activities for the upcoming week and to put it in a visible location, like on the refrigerator or door to their bedroom. “Stress of the unknown,” Taylor says, “is what creates anxiety for school-aged children.”

Don’t include just their school-related activities on this schedule. Add the fun extracurricular and family-related plans for the upcoming week. “Having something to look forward to and be excited about,” Hanley-Dafoe says, “can also help alleviate the Sunday Scaries. Is it their Wednesday evening soccer practice? Seeing a friend at school? Reading their favorite book at nighttime? A Friday night movie night?”

Have them prepare for Monday morning

As much as possible, involve the kids in preparing themselves for Monday morning. This can include laying out the clothes they’d like to wear for school, making their lunch, and putting their readied backpack by the front door on Sunday evening. “Kids feel more in control,” says pediatrician Dr. Sharifa Glass, “if they prepare and plan for what’s ahead.”

Help them get a good night’s rest

An important part of getting ready for Monday morning is to get a good night’s sleep. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends that kids ages 6–12 get 9 to 12 hours of sleep; teenagers need 8 to 10 hours. To make their sleep as restful as possible, have them put away any electronic devices well before bedtime. “Encourage your child to take a break from electronics on Sunday evenings,” says Cynthia Stahle, an academic administrator. “This allows their mind to rest and prepares them for the week ahead.”

Address your own Sunday Scaries

Finally, try to address your own Sunday Scaries, if that’s something you experience on a regular basis. “If we approach Sundays with a sense of dread or anxiety week after week,” Hanley-Dafoe says, “our children may begin to pick up on these feelings.” Ellis-Cox agrees: “As parents, we set the tone in our homes and our children often mirror our response. If we’re tense and on edge, then our children feel tense and on edge. But, if we’re calm and reassuring, then our children feel calm.”