OWL (Offer of Wise-Minded Learning): Glass Half Full Day
The List of Listening One-Liners
Use these responses when you hear your teen say something off-putting (critical, judgmental or mean-spirited), distorted (according to you), or wrong-headed (again, according to you). The goal of these responses to open up a conversation, avoid arguments about the facts, stay pleasant, or just be experienced as empathic. Sarcasm is off-limits. If you can’t deliver these genuinely, wait for another time. Non sequiturs are good too--off the wall, irrelevant but pleasant statements that do not follow from the teen’s quip, but also “don’t go negative!” which is the goal!).
- “Maybe you’re right” “Point taken”
- “I hear that you are disappointed.”
- “Hmmm…. Could you say more about that?”
- “You must have good reasons for saying that. Can you tell me more?”
- “For you to say that, I imagine something happened that made you feel rotten. What was it?”
- “Wow. I must say I see it differently, but tell me what led you to that conclusion.”
- “Interesting point. I’ll have to ponder that one.”
- “That’s a show-stopper. I don’t have a thing to say to that.”
- “Whoa. I’ll give you space here and let you play the tape back. That was quite the zinger.”
Read about “The Role of Positive Emotions” in Wise-Minded Parenting: 7 Essentials for Raising Successful Tweens + Teens, in chapter 5: Emotional Flourishing.