The Importance of Modeling Emotional Intelligence

Patty Lindley
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Published on: July 15, 2013

Laura S. Kastner, Ph.D., author of Wise-Minded Parenting

OWL (Offer of Wise-Minded Learning): Model Emotional Intelligence

Wise-Minded Parenting: 7 Essentials for Raising Successful Tweens + TeensMeasure your progress with a RULER

All parents want their child to be able to recognize a feeling, understand its cause, label it accurately, express it appropriately and control the destructive feelings. But teens are works in progress, and they learn from watching others. This week, find an opportunity to model the RULER:

Recognize the emotion: I know I barked at you about chores because of my irritability.

Understand the cause: I stayed up too late last night and haven’t exercised in days.

Label the feeling: I was crabby. I’m sorry I was rude when I barked at you.

Express feeling: I’m sorry for nagging. I should be consistent with my health habits.

Regulate emotion: The best way for me to take care of my grumpiness is to take a brisk walk right now. Dinner will be a bit delayed.

Read more about “The RULER Approach” in Wise-Minded Parenting: 7 Essentials for Raising Successful Tweens + Teens, in chapter 5: Emotional Flourishing.

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