OWL (Offer of Wise-Minded Learning): Validation
- It’s okay that I feel this way.
- This is a natural human emotion.
- Everyone feels this way sometimes.
- It makes sense that I feel this way.
This week, keep a list of anything your teen says that is appalling, offensive, off-putting, distorted or just “wrong” (from your perspective). Write down your best validations.
Your teen says: “I hate you.”
You say: “I get it. You hate me. It can be so infuriating to deal with rules.”
Your teen says:“I am going to leave home and never come back.”
You say: “I know I’ve made you super mad.”
Your teen says: “I don’t care if I do flunk out.”
You say: “The frustrations you feel right now are indescribable, I know. It makes sense to me that you’d want to give up.”
Learn more validation skills by reading Wise-Minded Parenting: 7 Essentials for Raising Successful Tweens + Teens, in chapter 3: Academic Success.